December always remained important during my whole life for me. The reason is not that it is my birth month, instead the reason is something else.
December whenever comes, brings strange things for me; things I can never give them any name; strange feelings, desires and thoughts. The cold and sad evenings bring an unknown sorrow, hard to describe the details of that sorrow.
The sunset of December looks always very beautiful but it is rather scary sometimes, winds penetrating into body change the whole set of mind of mine. I kept thinking the irrelevant things; the stupid and silly things (you will surely call them if you know what do I think?) that have no importance for me in the rest of eleven months of the year.
Sometimes, I fear from December; wish it not to come and pass without entrance; the thought is itself very silly.
I never waste much of my time in eleven months how much I waste in December; in a single month; kept thinking for hours without a reason and the thoughts are always purposeless. They never gave me anything fruitful; they just remind me that I have not done anything during the whole year and ruined it like the previous year passed it as a labor.
It's odd to think that nobody loves me; while I know many people who love me so much are around but I use to think like this in December. The month brings a state of mental and spiritual restlessness which makes me arrogant, senseless and sometimes harsh in behavior; the reason is still unknown.
I am sharing a poem, I have just written yesterday night and it has the same strange and odd feelings like my odd behavior in December.
I wish the next December would be different, would not like this and would not change my thoughts and my attitude; however I know its just a wish perhaps........
Well, but now December is going; so, Goodbye December!
The poem is beautiful!
ReplyDeleteBut you must say Goodbye to all those thoughts that make you sad and pose a hurdle in your onward march... Because your gloominess hurts those who love you.. who adore you and who need you..
Your loved ones will be there for you my dear friend :)
I wish you everlasting happiness and cheerfulness for all years to come... [including all Decembers ;-) :p ]
:)
ReplyDeleteI heard you singing this poem... hehe
hey did we count the total number of cards collected at bookfair? :p
SAAL (naam hee kafi hai)[sorry WAVES!] :p
we have to purchase a sitar as well han! :p
did u find any book on proteinomatics (yeah it an easier spelling of something unique you are studying these days... :p
oh yeah poem! hmmm... buttering?? :p
The sadness that you depict in your poem is in fact not a poem of sorrow or grief neither its sadness of waiting it is the eternal yearning, longing and search of a missing something that has no name. That something which if named would be so easy to access and find. The missing something can be an idea, a thought, a state of emotion, a look or a person.
ReplyDeleteThis poem shows your articulation, maturity and comprehension really elevating, this is extremely a wonderfully expressed poetry.
December in your life is actually a period of retrospection, creativity, going beyond known, searching for the unknown and advent of a new cycle.
The poetry is awsome, it might not be so beautiful without the state of mental and spiritual restlessness caused by December, I guess.
ReplyDeletehmm...Urooj...such a nice poem...and how it resonates with your post....its a wonderful read.
ReplyDeleteSEARCH...always kept us on longing and on the sombre mood...
But SEARCH is the only way to life..only reason for our existence....
It will never end...believe me...once you took a step you will find your destiny ten steps ahead...once you take ten steps you will find it thousand steps ahead...
This EVER SHAPING DESTINY....keeps you on your guard...this longing makes you gloomy...and that is the way of life...
This is a nice post....
Komal, thank you for reading and liking the post and thanks for your concerns about my happiness.
ReplyDeleteriz, thank you for reading the post.
ReplyDeleteWell, I sing often my poems while I write these.
I haven't count the total number of cards still, we got from the book fair, they are still kept in my bag.
hmmmmm SAAL, we will talk about it later.
right now, I am not going to take sitar. I will take Violin first, you know that and it is decided.
Oh, yes I have found many books related to Proteomics, don't ruin the original field and take its correct name.
hmmmm, poem and yes you are buttering what you always do...:)
Sir Akhtar, thank you for reading and liking the post, and thank you for liking the poem. And, yes I know sometimes I feel myself able to write exactly what I feel and just then the outcome becomes effective like this.
ReplyDeleteWhat you have analyzed about things in life by reading the post, I believe you have analyzed it very well and described in a more beautiful way.
Thank you so much.
Peerless, thank you for reading and liking the poem.
ReplyDeleteThinking, thank you so much for reading the post. And, yes I agree with you that Search has very much importance in one's life.
ReplyDeleteBut, somehow, someday we have a search which might not be purposeless but we think and consider it purposeless.
Things I use to think about in December, seem to me purposeless, not necessary that they are purposeless in real.
There's not much to add to the above comments except to say that some of us who look for patterns, clues and meaning in our lives may take such moods and memory as a chance to see what we can - with the help of friends/family & Allah to to heal our own past just a little more?
ReplyDeleteConnie, thank you for reading the post and yes I agree with you that sometimes we need those moods and time spans to recover and heal our miseries.
ReplyDeleteOuch! at Proteomics (yeah i copy/pasted the word this time) :p
ReplyDeleteWhen I added Sir Akhtar's comment to this post [sounds like cooking na? :p], i saw two things, a newly born phoenix (there are some ashes around her), and a tree standing in autumn(with mature leaves falling and residing around the tree on ground)
I saw them unintentionally... so don't know that these are linked with the post or not. u tell :D
@SIr Akhtar: Can we compare leaves of this tree with her thoughts?
hmmmm, I can't answer this question, so better it is if Sir Akhtar gives the answer.
ReplyDeleterIZ the whole poem for me is like a song of Phoenix, the present which is so dear is melting, evaporating and leaving out of reach. The remembrance of the gone times leaves a fear that the cherished goals were not fulfilled although the cycle that completes always begin with the expectation that completion means fulfillment, but at the end of each cycle Phoenix find that it has to come anew to find that completion that did not materialize in the last cycle. Once Phoenix finds satisfaction at the end of the cycle it will just burn itself but will not rise from the ashes.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Sir Akhtar, completely. riz, I think now you have got the answer.
ReplyDeleteDecember....!!!
ReplyDeleteبہت خوب عروج صاحبہ
مجھے علم نہیں تھا اتنا اچھا لکھ بھی لیتی ہیں
دسمبر کے عنوان سے بہت یادیں ہر ایک کے دل و دماغ میں یکسر تازہ ہو جاتی ہیں
یہ دسمبر ہو یا جنوری
بہار ہو کہ پت جھڑ
یا برستے بادل
جانے کیا کچھ یاد دلا دیتے ہیں
اللہ آپ کو مزید نکھار دے
آمین
Bangro, thank you so much for reading and appreciating. Keep coming.
ReplyDelete