Tuesday, December 28, 2010
December always remained important during my whole life for me. The reason is not that it is my birth month, instead the reason is something else.
December whenever comes, brings strange things for me; things I can never give them any name; strange feelings, desires and thoughts. The cold and sad evenings bring an unknown sorrow, hard to describe the details of that sorrow.
The sunset of December looks always very beautiful but it is rather scary sometimes, winds penetrating into body change the whole set of mind of mine. I kept thinking the irrelevant things; the stupid and silly things (you will surely call them if you know what do I think?) that have no importance for me in the rest of eleven months of the year.
Sometimes, I fear from December; wish it not to come and pass without entrance; the thought is itself very silly.
I never waste much of my time in eleven months how much I waste in December; in a single month; kept thinking for hours without a reason and the thoughts are always purposeless. They never gave me anything fruitful; they just remind me that I have not done anything during the whole year and ruined it like the previous year passed it as a labor.
It's odd to think that nobody loves me; while I know many people who love me so much are around but I use to think like this in December. The month brings a state of mental and spiritual restlessness which makes me arrogant, senseless and sometimes harsh in behavior; the reason is still unknown.
I am sharing a poem, I have just written yesterday night and it has the same strange and odd feelings like my odd behavior in December.
I wish the next December would be different, would not like this and would not change my thoughts and my attitude; however I know its just a wish perhaps........
Well, but now December is going; so, Goodbye December!